Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Entertaining the Garbage Men

I am currently dog/house-sitting for my boss' family while they're on vacation.  Sadie, their springer spaniel, and I get along swimmingly, so we all thought she'd enjoy my company for four of the eight days her family is away instead of being at the kennel the whole time.  Along with taking care of Sadie came just a few household things as well.  I was told that Monday was garbage day, but that they were going to take the garbage out to the street and LaWayne (former co-worker, good friend, and guy who lives across the street) would take care of bringing it in.  I didn't understand exactly what that meant, but I didn't hear any responsibility in there for me, so I let it go.  I started the housesitting on Sunday night, and while brushing my teeth at 7:05 on Monday morning my cell phone rang.  It was LaWayne.  Here's a transcript from the conversation:

K: (puzzled) Hello?
L: (too peppy for 7 AM) Good morning!
L:  This is your wake up call.  That's what we do here on Ridgeview Court (the street they live on).  We give each other wake up calls.
K:  Well, it sounds to me like your wake up call came a while ago, cuz you are mighty chipper for 7 AM.
L: (getting down to business) Say (this is how LaWayne begins 90% of his sentences), Janet said she was going to put the trash out, but I just pulled out of my driveway, and saw that it's not there.  So, you're going to have to take it out.
K: (begrudgingly - and wishing I had paid closer attention when the garbage situation was being explained to me the first time)  Okay, what do I need to do?
L: There's a blue garbage can in the garage......(I won't bore you with details).... Wheel it out to the street.  Tonight, when I come home, I'll wheel it in.  
(At this time I'm thinking 'if he's willing to wheel it in empty, is there a reason he's not willing to wheel it out when it's full?'  Whatever.)
K:  All right.  I'll take care of it.  Thanks, LaWayne.

Then I went on with my normal morning routine.  Well, not quite normal.  I don't normally stop in the middle of putting lotion on to shoo the dog away from licking the lotion off my ankles, or play fetch while eating my cereal.  I put Sadie in her kennel, and walked out the door at 7:58 (the office is about a 45 second drive from Greg & Janet's).  I found the garbage can in the exact spot LaWayne said it would be and wheeled it down (literally - their driveway is a big hill) the driveway.  I then walked back up the driveway, got in my car and began to back out of the garage.  As I was looking in my rear view window, I saw the garbage truck drive by - on the other side of the street!!!!  Greg and Janet live in a cul-de-sac on the right side.  So the garbage truck would do their side first, turn around in the cul-de-sac, and then do the other side.  Which means, as I was wheeling it down the driveway would have been just the time they would have been turning around.  I'm sure they just thought that was hilarious.  

I then called LaWayne to tell him what happened, and pass blame on to him for not telling me they come so early.  He passed it right back saying that he thought I was going to do it right after I got off the phone.  Did I sound like I was in any condition to be wheeling things 3/4 my height down a big hill?  I still had the morning groggy voice when he called.  To top it off, his response was, "Well, since they didn't get it, will take care of putting in back in the garage?"  For real?!  What the deal?  So I did.  

Disclaimer:  I just realized as I typed this, that this story may not paint the most flattering picture of LaWayne.  But, I wanted it noted that LaWayne is fabulous!   One of my favorite people ever.  This was just not one of his most shining moments.  There is not enough time in a day to post on all the great things LaWayne does.


djrogness said...

Oh, so, so funny! Have I told you I LOVE your stories?! Especially ones involving my father-in-law! I can just hear his voice inflection, as well as yours... love him, love you! Thank you - that was a great laugh!

Brooke said...

You are hilarious! You painted a great picture, and I can totally hear LaWayne's voice explaining the whole thing!

Thanks for the post!

ML Rusch said...

Great story! Yep, I can totally hear this conversation between you and LW! For a second, I thought that you were going to get the garbage on the curb, but later find out that you had faced it the wrong way - ignoring the huge arrows & bold print on the garbage can. You crack me up!

Kari, RN said...

I'll echo what the others have said, I love this story! I love hearing your voice and LaWayne's voice having those conversations, and I love picturing the garbage men smiling a little as they drove by the house, on the opposite side of the street... Thanks for the laughs! :)

Anonymous said...

Not a springer spaniel! Boykin!!!!!! Story was hilarious though!

CJ Olson said...

Thanks for the laugh! I can so hear LW in your story! :-) SO FUNNY!! Sorry the garbage didn't get out and that you weren't able to lay blame on anyone! :-)