Today was the day I have been dreading my entire life - the day we buried my beloved Grandpa. He passed away on Thursday morning, and while I always knew this day would come, it truly is harder than I could have imagined. I have never loved someone as much I love him, or been loved more than I was by him. He is so very special to me, and anything good that comes from me can be credited to this wonderful man. He taught me so much - from how to do long division, to how to fish, to what it meant to put others before yourself. Grandpa loved talking - at great length - but he was a man who first and foremost taught all "life lessons" through example and backed those up with his words. I haven't begun to process all of this yet, and what the next days, weeks, months and years will look like for me without him in them, and I could go on for days and days with wonderful stories - which I may do in subsequent postings - but today I mourn. I mourn the loss of a man who gave the world's most amazing hugs. I mourn the man who taught me what it meant to have a dream, follow it, work hard for it, and wholeheartedly thank those who made it possible (most of the time, that was him). I mourn the man who instilled in a me truth that I was a person who deserved to be honored and respected and not settle for anything less. I mourn that my children, his great-grandchildren, and my husband will never know the man who who showed their wife and mother what it means to be spouse and parent.
And in the midst of sadness that I cannot begin to articulate, I look back at today and can point out moments throughout the day where God made His presence so very apparent to me and reminded me that while I may not have my Grandpa here with me any more, he truly was a gift from God and the love that mt Grandpa poured over me for nearly 27 years pales in comparison to the love the Lord joys in showering me in. Above all, I am thankful that I had the time that I did and the relationship that Grandpa and I had. It can never be duplicated, but it will never be forgotten.
Gramps, I love you more than I know and miss you more than I could ever say.
6 comments:
Praying for you...love, sonja narvesen
Oh Kristin, Wow, I have tears in my eyes, grieving with you! I came to your blog tonight to reply with some funny comment about transferrring closet space, but instead was so sad to see this post from you.
I know how much you loved your Grandpa, and you've written a beautiful tribute to him! It's so hard to lose a grandparent, and especially when he was the most important and influencial person in your life. Please know I'll be praying for you. I wish I could give you a big hug right now!
keeling. i ache with you. and rejoice with you...that you have been so loved and that death cannot separate you from that love. your words are so powerful. thanks for the reminder of God's amazing love...so often witnessed through our loved ones. _ amy c
Your post made me teary eyed....again. Grandpa loved you so very much and I know the love he gave to you was returned by you to him. He was very proud of you and enjoyed every minute of being your Grandpa. We will all miss him dearly but his stories will live on forever. Love you ~ Aunt Cheri
Oh Kristin, my heart just sank when Pete told me about your grandpa's passing!I have tears running down my face reading this blog entry and thinking about what you've been going through!You and your grandpa had a special realtionship that I know meant a lot to both of you! That is something to be treasured and will always live inside your heart! I desperately wish I was able to give you a hug, cry and/or laugh with you - whatever you needed! You are certainly in our thoughts and prayers! We love you!
Kristin,
This is such a beautiful tribute to your grandfather! The things that he taught you such as hard work and putting others first is so evident in your life. We'll be praying for you during this difficult time.
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